As a doctor, I field a lot of questions. I can’t escape them. Most of the time, I don’t tell people what I do for a living, just so I can avoid awkward situations. Do you remember the “Cosby Show?” Cliff Huxtable (played by Bill Cosby) was a physician. In one episode he went to a car dealership to buy a car. The salesman asked him what he did for a living. His answer? “I work.” Now, the joke in this is he wanted to get a better deal on the car (so it isn’t exactly the same situation), but every time I am asked what I do for a living, that scene from the 1980’s runs through my head…”I work.”
I run a clinic and work with lasers for a living. Once a person finds out I work with lasers, they want to know what I use them for. “Do you use them in surgery?” Occasionally, but not very often. “Do you remove warts?” Sometimes. “What about hair removal?” Sure, we do a lot of laser hair removal. “Can you fix my face?” That’s a loaded question. Some faces are harder to “fix” than others. But generally, we can reduce wrinkles, frown lines, age spots, sun spots and freckles. “I heard you can cure nail fungus. Is that true?” Yes, that is true. “Is it painful?” Pain really is different for everyone. There may be some discomfort when having laser treatment done, but for most people it isn’t painful. Here is where it gets fun. “Do you remove tattoos?” Everyday, almost all day. “Well, can you remove this????”
Now, there are a lot of reasons to remove a tattoo: The artist didn’t do a good job, you have a name you would rather forget, it’s in a place that’s keeping your career in check, or…you have 6 of the 7 dwarfs across your butt-crack. Any reason, and every reason, you can think of is legitimate. You want it gone. No problem. No judgment. We can do it. You would not believe the tattoos I have seen, and where! I have seen boobs at church, butts in the department store, and almost a va-jay-jay at the ballpark! It’s really pretty wild. People always want to know how much it will cost, how long it will take, will it come off completely and will it hurt. Here are the answers, price varies, usually 7 to 10 sessions, yes, and sometimes. In general, bright colors take longer to remove than red and black ink. The lower back hurts more than other areas of the body, and the neck and inside of the wrist tend to blister more than other areas of the body in response to the first or second treatment.
I understand the questions and the desire to get an “on the spot” consultation, but if I am having a hot dog with my kids at the ballgame, I probably can’t give my full attention to the pac-man eating your nipple or the unicorn plunging his horn into your belly button. Just give us a call at (915) 491-6346 and we will be happy to set up a free consultation and you will get all the time you need and your questions will be answered completely. But please, don’t show me another “Winnie, I am your father” tattoo. I’ve already seen enough of those!